breelavie

You  know, seeing Michael Jackson’s memorial today, it just shows how beautiful life can be. I am not going to talk about the service,but instead, I will discuss the song Smile by Jackson. It is a beautiful song! In fact, I believe it is a great life lesson to smile, no matter what. Life, a gift that we never asked for but were given.

It is funny I keep hearing this song because on the fourth of July a friend came down to DC, whom I have not seen in about two years! I had to catch up with the good and bad. One thing I had to bring up was the death of my brother. My friend’s friend was stating why are you smiling as you state your brother died.

Well, of course I am not smiling about my brother passing,but I do think about him everyday, literally. I smile on my brother’s life. I never mention my brother’s death, unless someone brings the topic of family up. I never talk in past tense about him either.  So, I could completely understand Paris crying about how Jackson was the best father anyone could ever imagine. I feel that way about my brother. He might have bugged me because he cared so much about my actions but I could not have asked for a better brother! But I know this event will make Jackson’s kids stronger as they grow up.

I have grown far more independent than I ever was before, and I thank my older brother for that. My brother passing made me have to grow up and look out for other people, not just myself. I could not be selfish. It also taught me to enjoy life and stop clowning off and being stupid. Right now, I would like to break down these lyrics by Michael Jackson.

The following are the lyrics to smile:

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile with your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you’ll just…
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just…
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile…

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile
The song has four verses. The first verse implies that no matter your struggle or pains through life, you can still get by.

I can testify to that. It has almost been a year since I was at a time in my life where I truly felt everything I worked for and my family worked for was falling apart. I felt like giving up. I did not want to smile. I had no reason to smile. I felt just anger and sadness. I did not feel like getting out of bed in the morning. I did not feel like sitting in a class room full of strangers. I did not feel like doing anything. I simply felt vulnerable and alone, sometimes completely empty. I did not feel like putting the effort into living life anymore. My big question was, what is the point?

It is a good question. What is the point to life? Chasing money? Chasing some definition of true happiness? What are we all trying to get out of life? Who knows, and i rather not waste my time contemplating that. I feel we all have different goals in life, as much as the means of obtaining those goals. I am just here to live now.

Next is the second verse, it is full of  promotion to be optimistic, not by certainty but the simple existence of possibility. Jackson implies maybe, no gurantee, “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile…what is the use of crying.” Read that line over. It is true.

Yes, I cried often after losing someone I loved so much. You do not know love until you think, and really mean you’ll live and give your life for someone you love.

My first loves were my brothers. They know that I can be pissed one minute, happy go luck the next minute. What can I say, I might be bipolar? Yet, they still loved me for me. I can not say that with everyone I have met. I can not say  that when the world turns their back on me that anyone will come to my rescue. Well, my parents would come to my rescue,but other than that, I can not name many people who would,but my brothers. I guess I was relying too much on that factor and got so caught in chasing a dream of success that I did not seem to have time to really spend and cherish the time I have with my family.

It is hard to keep up with everyone, when the goal is trying to do the best for the family. Go to school. Go to work. Things will pay off eventually. Things will get better someday. Smile. Be happy to be you. Live in the name of your brother. But you can only smile on the past, wanting that.

It use to make me mad when people would say are you over this yet? Or go, it happens, it is life. You will never know how it feels until you lose someone really close to you such as a mother, a father, a sibling, a husband or a wife. It is just not the same. You’ll never look at life quite the same. But you still try to smile when you get the chance to smile.

In the third verse Jackson mentions fear and sorrow are bound to come but you will never know what good can come of life if you never smile. I do still see promise in life,even if I have to spend the rest of my life without my brother. I see promise in a different sense.  I see promise in the little things. I see promise in life, when I see an young child filled with joy.

I was so elated when I found out a friend from college was having her first child. All I could think about was how good God can be! Yes, through all the pain, I still believe in God. I still believe not everything about this world is corrupt. The innocent and those people who smile and believe in dreams make me sustain hope in this place called life.

I was never a person who even thought about having children or getting married. But now, it seems more appealing for me! I would like the chance to give life. I would like a chance at showing my child that life is a gift, no matter the good or bad times. One day, I would like to tell my kids about how great and loving my brother was to me, just as I hope Jackson’s kids will do with their children someday. I still remember his smile. I still remember his scent. I still remember his humor. I still remember our childhood. I do not cry about those things, in fact, I do smile.

The final verse repeats the lesson to smile about life. There really is not a reason to cry. There really is not a reason to not try to live out your dreams every time you wake up in the morning. It is never a crime to excel,if you do not try to bring others down while you are trying to succeed.

I respect Jackson in every sense of the word. I respect the way he carried himself throughout his life. I also feel the same about my brother. These past few years have been crazy. I have lost many loved ones. It is never a good feeling, and you always look back at what you should have said, you should not have said, the good times and the bad time. Life is full of surprises and I hope, in the end death is a splendid surprise. But until that day…just try to smile.

Here is the song smile:

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